The things you miss....

It's a little crazy at times with Jim gone, but I'd take the chaos any day over being the one away from home. Because as much as I'm dying to sneak out on my own, it's hard to be the one on the phone thinking about all the things you miss....

...The Sun 'N Fun primary activity which quickly turned into a wet and wild party as it started to POUR five minutes after the we started. ...The most amazing thunderstorms and some good ol' Florida flooding.

...Stephanie Nixon huddling with the girls to stay dry
while Nathan danced in the rain.

...Nathan's wild hair day (to say nothing of his personality) at school.

...Nathan rifling through legos for twenty minutes and then placing this creation the desk, "Don't let any one see this! It's the start of Annikan." :)

...Nathan's piano performance at the talent show.

...our biggest fans!
...getting ready for the big day!
...our little dancing queen.

...watching your little girls grow. (whose feet in Lindsey's shoes?!)

..."heee, heee, heee"

"Look at me!"

..."Tickle Me!"

...."Nigh, Night daddy, I love you!"

And just when you think everyone's in bed, Aimee need's a pacifier, Lindsey needs more water in a sippy cup, Elise has a dot on her finger that itches and Nathan has a million questions in his head he just has to get out..."What if daddy doesn't find a house for us in Missouri?" "We'll live in our van." "How will we change clothes?" "We won't. Isn't that fun? And when it rains, we'll step outside for a shower!" "Where will I play legos?" "We'll keep the legos under your seat and when it's not raining, we'll find a parking lot, pull them out and play." "Oh, well, I guess it I'd like to live in the van." "Great!" :) ....."But, I'm not sure what I want to be when I grow up." "That's okay, you've got eons to think about it." "Do you think they'll have a new job for me?"

..."If I die and you give my kidneys to someone else, what will happen when I am resurrected? Will I not have kidneys? " "I'm sure God will find them for you" "How will they take my kidney's out?" "Nathan! No one is taking your kidneys, so go to bed!" (this came after making cookies one night and explaining he can't eat the dough because he'll get salmonella poisoning which could make him very sick and then his kidneys would fail and he'd have to get new ones and have an IV and every other not fun thing in life) :) "Then why does Mr. Dale get to eat some?" (because Dale just happened to come in right AFTER my explanation and snitch his favorite part of the cookie -the dough) "Because he's an adult and our big bodies can handle it."

So many questions, so little time. "Mom, can I see what you're typing?" "Nope, go to bed." And now, it's a good night. Aaaah, take a moment to enjoy the silence. I'm off to a very inviting queen size bed with the softest sheets that I get all to myself! But, I do miss you Jim. :) Life isn't the same without you and I'm sorry for all the things you miss.

You're a mean mom

Sunday, May 17, 2009
It’s deliciously hot outside. I love it. Yesterday I went to check the mail and was lured to lay on the driveway and bake like a cookie in the oven. Elise decided she’d rather be one of the cookies in the freezer. :) Not me, I love feeling all toasty from the outside in.

After Elise’s recital yesterday, we got our summer pool pass to the aquatic center and spent an hour splashing about in the cool water –what a treat. Elise did so well in her recital. I was so proud of her. Nathan was riveted and wiped his eyes after seeing her performance. “That was my favorite one,” he declared in her honor. That made me happy to see his support and love for her. Especially since most the time, lately, they are teasing, rolling eyes and sticking out tongues.

Elise wondered why she got flowers last year…. and I melted, of course. “Oh sweetie, I just didn’t get a chance to slip away and surprise you with Daddy not being here to watch the kids.” “I could go with you….” She softly suggested. How could I resist. Off we went to Walmart because I needed milk anyway and we arrived home with four beautiful roses (one for each girl), a hot wheels car (because Nathan does NOT want flowers!), and a box of pop tarts since it was such a special day. We chose the box with the most fiber and the least amount of sugar and I told them we wouldn’t be indulging like this at every recital. :)

Nathan had surgery last Monday. He had a skin tag poking out his backside which was understandably uncomfortable for him. It was supposed to be a quick snip, cauterize and off we go. The anesthesia made him so loopy, it was weird to watch as he slowly went off to la la land. The doctor informed me that he had to do sutures, but not to worry, they would dissolve. The surgery took about five minutes and forty minutes later I got to see Nathan recover happily with a purple popsicle. After going through two more, he was off to the bathroom to pee so we could go home. There he experienced his first real sensation of pain and cried for about five minutes before I could convince him to stop trying and to lie back on the bed.

Tylenol was the best they could give him and away we went. Around 2:30 in the afternoon Nathan had to REALLY go to the bathroom. He spelled it out for me, “Mom I have to go p-o-o-p-y!” It sounded more like he was going to have a baby than just a visit to the restroom. He screamed for about ten minutes solid, while I called the doctor a little frantic about the fact that Nathan was in so much pain. They could do nothing, of course. So, after what felt like he “broke a bone” inside and much screaming, he finished what he started and went to recover (completely drenched in sweat) with an episode of toot and puddle (how appropriate). :)

Well, now it’s Sunday and Nathan still cries every time he has to go. I kept him home for two days thinking he’d be okay by Thursday. However, he’s still bleeding, crying and now he’s just plain not going. He keeps wishing he’d never gotten his skin tag off as he’s dealing with his first bout of prolonged pain (hindsight is 20/20… ha, ha). I wish he hadn’t done it either since it takes him about45 minutes in the bathroom, the most part of which he’s crying out for me to be with him. We were 40 minutes late to church this morning so he could try. I bet everyone thought it was because I couldn’t get the four kids going by myself. I did get two invitations to dinner (Thanks Ruth and Jana). :) Of course, we couldn’t accept either because we are waiting for the inevitable moment where Nathan REALLY has to go.

Jim took off for Missouri on Tuesday. He arrived Wednesday, settled Thursday, prepped for his class Friday and Saturday and is checking out the wards today. As busy as he is, it’s probably not enough. He misses us and we all miss him too. Aimee is such a daddy’s girl, she asks for him every day. Yesterday she said, “I miss daddy. Daddy’s at work.” I’ve only been scared once: at 2 am, when Lindsey dragged herself across the living room in her leg braces instead of simply calling out to me to go to the bathroom. I’ve learned to lock the doors while it’s still light outside and go to bed at a decent hour.

Aimee was so cute today in pig tails, I could just eat her up! She has a new trick. If you ask her how old she is she’ll say, “two.” Then, if you ask her her name, she’ll say, “two.” It works the other way too. If you ask her her name, she’ll say, “Aimee.” Then, if you ask her how old she is, she’ll say, “Aimee.” That’s her daddy’s girl! :)

Monday, May 18, 2009 “you’re a mean mom!”
This morning I made the usual Monday breakfast of muffins and eggs. The eggs must be eaten first. Lindsey took one look at the table and declared she wanted cereal. “Tough!” I said and kept cooking. “You’re a mean mom!” she let me know as she huffed away from the table. Realizing it had no affect on me whatsoever, she came back and said it a little louder. “Hmph!” was followed by the chant, “you’re a mean mom. You’re a mean mom. You’re a mean mom!” I smiled when Elise and Nathan both came to my rescue, knowing full well it would only be a matter of days, if not hours before they, too, took up the chant and let everyone know just how mean I am!

Krista bought me twilight and new moon to complete my collection! That was a very sweet surprise to my day.

25

Months ago I was invited on facebook to post 25 random things about me and thought about it, wrote it out and got busy, as usual. The days passed, the moment passed and yet, here it is the 25 random things about me, for me really.

1. I told the kids to quickly pick up the other day because our rental manager was coming over. When I opened the little cupboard under the TV, I noticed all the toys and clothes stuffed inside. “Elise!” I called, “Come back and put these things away where they belong!!” She looked surprised and said, “Oh, I thought we were speed cleaning –isn’t that what we do when company is coming?!” “No,” I responded and then laughed because, of course it is! What a good mom I am. : )

2. I clean when I’m depressed and I can’t eat when I’m stressed or the kids are sick. So, if you ever come over and the house is clean and I’m looking skinny, you’ll know we’ve got problems! : )

3. I like myself, imperfections and all.

4. I turn into an ogre at 8pm, and it’s not like the nice Fiona type –I’m more like the “Shrek” get in bed ogre!

5. I have four webkinz: Krista-Lou- the kangaroo; Oreo- the black and white cow, Sweetie- the Love Dino and Willow –the raccoon. They all come from Krista, thank you!!

6. I can still sing a song in Russian that a friend taught me in college, though I have no idea what I’m saying! Who knows what he taught me?! Reminds me of the time the elders taught a bunch of French people that the way we say “Cheers” in America is “up yours.” Not the most wholesome recreation, but a much needed laugh. How do you unwind after being rejected a million times? Well, raise your cup and cheers to you! : )

7. The words I used to say the most? “No worries.” The words I currently use the most? “BE NICE!” My, how my world has changed.

8. I am not a touchy-feely, huggy-huggy type of person, but I LOVE a good foot rub and cuddling with the kids.

9. My dad got so mad at us once that he grabbed up the nearest thing he could find to shake in our face. It was the flat card board that holds cat food and it sagged in half when he hit the high of his fuming and we all laughed. I’m paying for that a million times over! See # 7.

10. I wonder who is passing along the beloved armpit music ritual? I so carefully protected my son from it all and he just graced us with his new talent at the dinner table. AAAHHHHHHH

11. I love my kids. Really, I love to play with them, watch them and then put them back in their box. : ) We get along famously when I let them out because I actually enjoy playing tag with them, collecting stuffed animals, doing art projects, playing games and watching Barbie movies. Oh, and singing into a banana microphone like a banshee… “There ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone…ba-dum-dum-dum-duh-dum….”

12. My favorite TV shows are (in this order): So you think you can dance, Everwood, and The Mentalist. Oh, and we can’t forget “King of Queens” which provides Jim and I many a late night laughs. I used to love Amazing Race until it switched to Sunday. One day a DVR might restore this to its proper place.

14. I’m not superstitious. : )

15. My least favorite part of the day is evening when I have to cook dinner for four unappreciative kiddos and then brush their even more unappreciative teeth!

16. I am not a keeper. I get joy from dejunking.

17. I am very energetic, independent and creative. My outlet: Adventure Camp! You’d have to peruse my blog to see what that is.

18. The first time Jim and I went camping, we roasted hot dogs and onion rings on sticks. Then we carefully tied up our toothpaste which was in its normal thick casing that smells like nothing and he dutifully hung it up in a tree explaining that he didn’t want any mountain lions or bears going after it. I layed awake for most the night, listening and thinking, “Now, why would a mountain lion or a bear bother to go up a tree for some yucky toothpaste when Jim and I smell like yummy smoked meat all wrapped up in a very thin tent?” That happens to be the last time we went camping. : ) Although, he still takes the kids out. I much prefer a nice bed with no bugs.

19. That reminds me: the worst feeling is making your bed and seeing a spider scurry out from under the sheets. The best feeling is sleeping on soft, clean sheets.

20. I love to read blogs.

21. In high school, we had to think of something we were grateful for and I remember saying my eyelids because when I closed them everything disappeared and it was just me in my own little world. I still enjoy escaping to my mind and most often find myself dancing to music. Now, if we could just get some earlids to shut out crying kids, crunching food and snoring. : )

22. I can accept death, but am destroyed by the concept of suffering, especially by children. I am acutely aware of hunger, need and pain. I can’t stand to see my kids hurting.

23. I love it when kids are learning how to talk. I love the challenge of decoding it and the triumphant smile they get when you realize that the request for a tuddle is really for a puzzle! Aimee spent the morning singing, “I lika moo-ey, moo-ey” after hearing Elise and Nathan chant: I like to move it, move it. I miss Elise saying “muse-kit” for music and Nathan’s hangaburger which you can order at “Old McDonalds.” Lindsey has such a high, sweet voice and long, sincere thoughts that it’s fun to listen to her.

24. A day of indulgence for me would include a good book, a pedicure and some dark chocolate. Ah yes, and some computer time without the kids hanging all over me and swarming around the screen.

25. I could say it a million times and it wouldn’t be new or random at all that I LOVE Florida. I love the sun, the palm trees, reggae music, the flip flops, the beach, the year round afternoon walks, my friends, my ward and how toasty warm it is most days and Krista!

Escape

Who doesn't want an escape from reality now and then? The pressures have been high for Jim. I've been trying to figure out what to do with myself and wonder if I shouldn't be doing more. The kids are, well....kids. The older they get, the greater the need to escape. :) Now, where do we go? Somewhere fun and tropical. Oh, I know.. :) We were set to leave Thursday for Disney World and then spend the rest of the weekend at Treasure Island located on the west coast of Florida. It boasts beautiful white sand beaches and seems a perfect get away before Jim takes off for Missouri in three weeks.

However, yesterday found me at the start of a list of to-dos and that meant taking all four kids to the doctors for two well visits (Nathan and Aimee) and one sick visit (Elise). I think we were the first ones in and I thought, "Yes! this is my lucky day." I saw when the doctor arrived, ten minutes after us and thought, "Okay, let's get going." I had Nathan, Elise and Lindsey take off their shoes and step on the scale to hurry things along before the nurse was like," umm, I think we need Aimee." Oops, oh yes -"Quick, Lindsey put your shoes on while I tug off Aimee's." Hmm, now to list the questions and concerns. Aimee -none, but she's grunting instead of talking, shouts MINE when she wants something and cries for her pacifier nonstop -should I be worried!? :) Nathan -he's super coordinated, smart as a whip, oh, and he has a skin tag where the sun doesn't shine -can you take that off? Elise? It's hard to tell because she has every thing that comes around and then some. I was actually trying to distract her from watching the infomercial on appendicitis in the waiting room knowing that an acute case would be immediately impending if she got hold of that one! It's so hard to know what's really wrong. I'm sure my parents felt the same way.

Nathan was so excited to pee in a cup that he peed on the seat, on his hands and the water! Did any even go in the cup? Elise laughed when he had to put the gown on and then tried to cover up saying how amusing it was that she was sitting on a plastic chair that...squeaks, yes -you see? (she tries really hard to squeak). Nathan edges off the bed when the they prick his finger but is oblivious when they examine his other parts. "Did you notice that dimple in that little crack there?" Ummm, yes -it was a diaper changing night mare! "Did you get a sonogram on that?" What? Uh, no -should we? "Ohhh, well, it's a bit late for that but it's a possible sign that his spinal cord is tethered. Does he have any problems wetting the bed?" "No, well -he wakes up but he doesn't actually make it to the toilet most nights. Sometimes it's the bathtub, or under the counter or in the corner. Does that count?" :) "Well, not exactly but we'd better have that checked just in case.... you just need to schedule an MRI. That's an x-ray and it takes about 45 minutes. Can your son sit still that long? " Wait a minute, so I can stop laughing at the last question!

Next! The doctor starts again, "Aimee's soft spot didn't close yet. Any thyroid problems in the family?" Besides my little cyst? None. Should I be concerned? "Well, she's tall enough -in the 50th percentile so it's probably nothing." Tall?! For my family the 50th percentile is GIGANTIC! Wow, we got our own little giraffe after all. Way to go!

Elise was the grand finale. What can I say? I have no idea what's wrong except she has cronic stomach and head aches, usually at bed, homework and chore time! :) ha, ha, ha.... No really, she has persistant stomach aches and I need answers or testing that hurts so if it's fake she won't fake it anymore and if it's real- it'll be worth it. :) Oh, and she's had a fever for three days, threw up and has a bad cough starting yesterday. "Hmmmm, I hear a lot of crackles." "Impossible!" I thought, "how can you hear anything over the other three kids trying to squish into one office chair (even though there are two) and fighting over the same book (even though there are more)?!" "I think she has pneumonia and would like you to get an x-ray. I'll get right back to you, I have several patients waiting. I've spent alot of time here because you had three..." Okay.... let the waiting games begin.

"Let's play I spy" I suggest. Nathan spots the first one (as he always does) and we take nice even turns around the circle so no one gets left out. Nathan's is hard to find (whine, complain). Lindsey kept changing hers so it was nearly impossible (more whines and complaints "that's not fair Lindsey you can't keep changing it"). Elise chose the air, which really was impossible. Nathan was all over that, "Elise you have to be able to SPY it and you can't see the air!" "I told you it was clear enough to see through! besides, you can see it when it blows something over..." "MOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!" "Alright, games over! finds something else to do!" (and by all means, be loud so they'll come back, give Aimee her shots and we can leave in peace. Okay, well at least we can leave!) :)

Really?! Do I have to take all these kids to get x-rays? What will that prove? I will still have to take the same meds and do the same treatments. I don't want any proof of something more. Don't worry, Disney can wait and Treasure Island will still have treasures another day. Everyone pile in. "Mom, Diego is a BOY sticker...." "GO!"

Nathan woke up coughing today and I wondered if he'd be able to hold still while coughing for the MRI Friday. We gave him cough syrup, practiced his piano piece and sent him to school so he wouldn't miss the Talent Show Audition. Elise has to miss it. She's hoping to dance with a group of girls from her dance class. I hope she can. I actually enjoy having Elise home because she can play with Lindsey and give me a break from the endless, "mom, will you play pet shops with me?" Lindsey is my drama queen and flopped on the bed the other day with a loud sigh and said, "Mom, what can I do while I'm waiting for my life to get better?!" :) Oh I gave her a big kiss for that one. She makes me laugh so hard. Yesterday she walked around the house and said, "Mom, I want to throw something away too. What can I put in the garabage bag? Maybe I'll go through my stuffed animals and get rid of something." THAT's my girl!!! :) You can tell how we've been cleaning house. Jim's been giving a ten minute warning and then going around with a trash bag and collecting whatever's left on the floor. They can buy it back later of course. Or, I'll sell it on Craigslist, my latest venture.

I've been wandering through the house wondering what we could do without. I emptied out the attic the other day and today I pretty much tore the house apart before I realized there's probably a better way to go about this. It started with, let's sell the crib. (everything from under the crib was pulled out) And then, let's sell the closet dresser (everything from the dresser was pulled out) Next, let's move the other girls dresser to Nathan's room and sell his dresser and put the shelves from my room where his dresser was. Right now, as I type, every single dresser and shelf has been emptied. Right now, all the books, puzzles, toys, clothes, shoes and well, EVERYTHING, is littering the floors! :) Just a little overwhelmed by what Elise called the Tornado that hit our house, I am escaping. :) I have tuned out all whines, cries, messes and disasters and have escaped into my blog, my playlist and my wonderful, happy insanity. :)

There's no way to catch up the blog. Really, I'm this late because I was trying to be chronological but I just don't have time to go back and recap so I'll throw out a few photos from Nathan's party, Easter, etc and call it good.

Happy Easter 2009!

Spring Break
We went with Krista to Tampa and stayed with her brother Thomas.
The kids loved playing in the pool even though it was CHILLY!!!

After a dip in the cold pool, they liked to warm up in the hot tub. :)Aimee liked chillin' out by the pool. While we played, Jim worked. :) And, all that hard work payed off. He passed his dissertation and was greeted by a grateful family and a candygram by the Nixons.

It's that time of year. Recitals are coming and they just got their costumes. Elise loves it!

Lindsey is not about to be left out.And our newest star: little me too!Nathans Pirate Party!!
Shiver my timbers, if Nathan isn't turning six!

Happy Valentines Day

After some discussion about what we want our valentine's traditions to be (a book? a lovey? just the bucket? chocolate hearts? etc.) this is what we came up with!

We always have heart shaped waffles with whip cream and strawberries. Last year they got a Webkinz and so I decided to keep the loveys (stuffed animals) and buckets, but we added just one other tradition...

SILLY STRING! :)

What better way to say I love you than attack you with silly string?! The kids LOVED it! Silly strings for our silly things, a perfect match.The evening ended with a perfectly pink sky
so we celebrated with a pizza picnic outside.THAT'S MY GIRL!In honor of this day,
the kids did the "Love Bug" dance. :) Although Valentines has come and gone,
one thing seems to remain forever the same:I need SUGAR!

And, I need attention! :)

Want to play with me?

After weeks and weeks of visitors, the kids were pretty sad to go back to school. They couldn't understand as I continued to sing, "it's the most wonderful time of the year...." : ) It was definitely fun to have Jim's sister and her family (the Davidsons) come visit with us for a bit. We love company because it motivates us to do all the touristy, fun things that easily slip by otherwise. Like, seeing the manatees!!! The following picks are from Blue Springs State Park where we were totally spoiled by the amount of Manatees in the water to include a few babies (sooo cute). Of course, the only reason we were able to see so many is because it was FREEEEEEZING cold outside. Luckily, the Davidsons, being from Idaho, didn't mind a bit. In fact, I think they were even a bit warm at times. : ) Now it's just back to me and the never ending question, "Want to play with me?"

Davidsons: Juleah, Orion, Daniel and Elisabeth.

We went to Crane's Roost one night to see the fountain show and brought popcorn to feed the ducks. Our little Moody-Lou decided to feed herself and was so upset that everyone had more than she did that she could hardly even look at the camera for the picture, much less smile. :)

One Saturday (it warmed up right after the Davidsons left, of course), I decided to host the Caldwell Mini Olympics. They had to complete two items from each of the five categories: Arts, Smarts, Feats, Jobs and Laps as fast as they could. After completing each category they colored in one to the olympic rings on their paper and eventually earned the gold medal prize of an ice-cream cone. :) As you can see, everyone was a winner!

My Gold Medal Kids - I love 'em all!